I was doin okay.. I was livin ma life.. and in that one sudden moment of peace and tranquility, something creeps up from behind me.. that feelin of longin, that feelin of despaired hope, that feelin of futile urge caught up with a sensation of missing a person... a person you hold so dear.. a person too close for your own good, someone you'd be willin to sacrifice it all...

  How do you move on.. I tried.. by many means.. not to keep in contact.. but that quickly backfired.. coz i couldn't be without her.. maybe cold turkey wasn't the answer.. i looked out for another how wud fill in the void in my heart that she has completely reigned complete.. but no one else could.. mainly coz i didn't allow it.. i blocked my heart in.. keeping her inside.. it's been nearly 2 years and there's still no one who could take my breathe away like she did.. well, she still does.. A few have come close.. but in truth, it's really not close at all... I'm left here alone... she's livin her life.. she has others that can love her.. take care of her.. be there for her.. I'm just scrappin thro life.. heaven knows how many kezillion times my heart crumbles a bit now and then.. It wont be long till i can't take it anymore.. everyone has their limits... or maybe i'm just overacting.. maybe i'm just too emotional and followin my heart too much.. i don't know why..
  I tell ya, if she's happy with her life.. and has someone who will be there for her and take care of her betta than i can.. i'd be glad for her.. and i'd definately get over her.. at least i know she's in good hands.. might sound corny and lame.. but it's true..

  But tonyte, i'm a bit.. well, a lot emo.. too emo.. i guess it's my period timing ah.. I've been an emotional wreck these days.. events ova the past few days, and especially tonight, really plays around with my heart and mind.. i dont know what to do now.. and i dont think i wanna do anything... whateva comes my way, wheneva it comes.. i'll deal with it then.. My mind's too screwed up now to think straight..

  Sorry guys and gals.. my next update will be up when i feel like it.. when i have some good news to update.. instead of another self-pitied, self-indulged entry...

  Yeah y'all.. i got the new red IRiver H10.. it costs around $470.. but because i sold my Creative MuVo2 to ma fren for a cheap2 price of $100.. i spent only around $370..

  We first went to Creative Labs at Jurong to get ma MP3 fixed.. to my surprise, they changed the whole new set to a new one.. and they even gave me a free new earphone coz i said my earphones were spoiled too.. so for a brand new 1.5Gb MP3 player at just $100 is a good good buy.. i got another buyer at $200 and $150 but coz i promised this fren of mine.. i had to sell it to him.. but it's okay..

  Anyways, after changin ma MP3, we went to CDANs at Bukit Gombak... and played LaserQuest.. it was ma first time playin it... khehe.. daym, i'm lousy.. out of 6 players (2 girls) i got the lowest score of 69.. tho my gun was a bit faulty sumtimes.. can't use it as an excuse.. i tell ya.. it was fun and tiring boy.. tho it's air-conditioned and all, i tell ya.. ya'll confirm sweat.. it was all dark and with tha black light on.. ya can see all the luminous writings and designs.. cool shit.. and they blasted raggae songs all thro our game.. it actually quite cheap ah.. $3.50 per game.. each game is 10 minutes ah.. it's short but it'll be enough ah.. khehe.. after that then we went to buy my MP3..

  I was tricked.. i went to this shop.. the cheapest he cud give me was $460 wit GST.. i nearly wanted to buy it.. but i went to check other shops.. last minit fast check.. got a nother shop that sold it for $450 so i immediately bought it.. after talking and all that shit.. went i wanted to pay.. he said.. "so okay.. 450.. plus GST will be 472.5.." i just stood there stunned.. shit! i was conned.. but it's okay.. he took out everything and put it in a bag already.. so i just bought it ah.. got the Polaroid Joycam free.. quite big.. but kewl.. khehe..

  I'ma go play with ma brand new toy.. gotta download the songs in it.. and ma pics.. and maybe some text.. ahakz~~!!

  Woohoo... Okay.. first things first.. ma body clock has gone haywire.. bonkers dude.. it's nearly 5 not and i can't sleep.. i'm just too sleepy at all... last night i slept for 1 hour.. went to Lin's place for breakfast at table.. ahakz.. then went back home.. didn't sleep till like 1+pm.. that one also i didn't wanna.. accidentaly slept.. then woke up at ard 3.. had to go shoppin with Fazli.. He was lookin for slippers while i wanted to look at clothes and what have ya.. saw a few cheap good tees but didn't bought them first.. had to withdraw.. thot of keepin them in mind and goin to bugis first.. while headin there.. decided to go to Sim Lim coz Fazli wanted to buy the bluetooth headset..

  We went around lookin.. a lotta cool shit we found there.. speakers.. Jabra bluetooth.. and a lotta cool MP3 Players.. one that stood out was the IRiver H10.. It's stylish.. functionable.. 5Gb.. a bit taller than the Creative Zen Micro but thinner.. has radio function.. able to record.. comes in 4 colors.. 1.5" color LCD display.. able to store pictures(JPG) and display them on the screen.. able to to store text and display.. vertical touch scroll button.. all the the retial price of $499.. but a few shops sellin at $450.. With ma ERS, i really really feel like buyin it.. i now after i've checked out the specs and all at the net.. i think 99% i'm gonna buy it once i receive ma pay.. ahakz.. Y'all just wait and see.. Here's a peek at it.. Kewl huh..

 

  Hmmm.. where do i start.. i tell ya.. if i wanted to tell the whole thing.. it'd take up a whole lotta pages.. khehe.. well, i reached Kanchanaburi Air Base at around freakin 5am Thai Time.. Walked down the stairs and it was soo shockingly cold.. Mist or vapour.. or whaddahell ya call it was coming from ma mouth.. anywayz, we took a 2 hours bus journey to reach Sai Yok Camp.. wahh.. so tired and all.. reach ajer.. put down our bags, change admin and do work.. had to take over all the vehicles there.. all 60 vehicles had to check.. sheesh.. 2 people doin that.. penat giller sak.. by night time, all was done and i bathed and staright jack went to sleep.. no hussles..

  Okay the camp was just a simple one.. it's like a long two storeys building.. i was on the top one.. in a like 50 men bunk..  and the toilet was in the next buildin just beside us..it's like a covered up pondok.. with a long rectangular BIG bathtub in the middle.. that is actually to collect up the water and men will have to use pails to scoop up the water to bath.. BUT khehe.. on the first night i just stripped down and jumped inside.. and just swam around.. An officer was nearby and he caught me.. trus kena marah sak..  damn.. sedap ajer kena in front of a lot of naked guys.. but it's true ah.. other people are using the same water i jumped inside to bath and all.. khehe...

  I wont go in detail what i did.. just a "brief" yet visual explaination.. we went about doin our stuffs.. was so hectic and busy... MT Line just had 4 men includin the officer.. so me and ma sargent had to help them a lot.. most of the time we were doin their job not ours.. puttin in the BII tools.. camo nets, tact signs, bakar pole, POL jerry can, iron pickets, top up POL and lining up the vehicles.. mind you, there are like 60 vehicles.. command jeep, rovers, milan jeep, ambulance, MB 290, bikes and 5 tonnes.. and only 6 manpower.. so it really took us more than a week of really hard work to get things done.. As for technician stuffs.. all the work was basic, lightings were the usual faults.. one case of leakage due to pipe burst.. few tyres puncture.. that's it.. the troublesome thing was the trailer cargo.. cause soo daym a lot of problems..

  I tell y'all.. don't even think of dietin ova there.. the canteen food is cheap and filling and nice ova there.. i eat at the canteen almost everyday.. there's pattaya, the usual.. with crisy chicken or crispy squid.. noodles, hor fun, laksa, wanton, tom yam of course.. a lot ah.. the ice cream also.. is so daym cheap.. one like the Swensen's Earthquake.. there is like a cheapskate version but of equal quantity.. it's only around 4 or 5 bucks.. tell me it's not cheap.. i dare ya.. ahakz.. the canteen is the only hangout there.. food, shops, lan gaming and net surfin, tho it's always full.. there are thai girls there mendin the shops.. and some are not bad lookin.. even look like malay.. but of coz, this bein Thailand.. there are also the 'terpeleot" people.. bapoks.. one of them's name is Jenny.. sheesh.. a fat guy with long hair.. no breast.. wearing make-up and tight clothes and skirt.. eee..

  Actually i bought a lotta my stuffs from the canteen itself.. not outside.. coz there's a lotta things ya can buy there.. clothes.. i bought 2 quiksilver tees one polo for ma dad.. 2 boxers, one looney tunes one ninja turtle.. ahakz.. two lighters, one Jack Daniels for me.. and one smaller Chivas Regal for Lin.. One pouch.. One Levi's Red Loop jeans.. and kain for ma mum.. it's nice ah the kain.. a bit percentage of silk.. ahh.. dunno how to describe ah.. there's also a lotta bags sold there.. nice ones too but i can't buy..it's cheap but if i buy then i'll overspend.. wallets.. alotta of LV, Gucci.. watches.. tag heuers.. shoes.. slippers.. sandals.. a lot ah.. the only thing i bought outside of camp was shades and bead bracelets.. oh yah.. and necklace and earrings for lin.. Can't buy for other frens ah.. coz if i buy for one, i havta buy for all.. so i thot.. it's okay ah i wont buy for any..

  Most of the boring days were spent in the MT Park office.. there's air-conditionin there.. so we slept there in the afternoon.. coz the HOT season has come and sleepin in bunk in the afternoon was like hell.. wake up with our body all wet from sweat.. for the exercises nothin much to say.. normal stuffs.. most of the time we were relaxin.. lyin in our hammocks.. ahakz.. slack ah.. Oh yah.. i gotta drive there.. illegaly ah.. everywhere around the camp i drove.. but only rovers and jeeps ah.. and MB 290 also.. now i must admit i am gettin betta at drivin.. i even know how to park.. but reverse parking ah.. parallel is still cock up.. almost everyday i drove.. it was fun i tell ya.. i drove also because they didn't have enough manpower for people to drive..

  For ma Atec, we got a 2A grading which is like not bad.. second best grade.. Alpha. Bravo CO, RSM got Redcon 1 Charlie Redcon, S4 2B ahakz.. as a whole 1SIR got Redcon 2A.. which is good enuff.. that's why now i'm on off till 14th feb and i still got 14 days off more after that.. gonna keep that for emergencies..

  R&R was quite boring as it was a guided tour.. so we wasted our SAF condoms.. ahakz.. It was kinda boring.. a lot of it was spent in the bus.. 2 hours or 1 hour journey from each point.. first day went floatin market.. we got on the boat but it was just a short ride.. after that went to handicraft centre.. lunch then after that was the Jeath War Bridge which was quite interestin.. got a lotta other tourists there too.. Ang Mohs.. khehe.. then dinner then back again to Sai Yok.. The last in Thai.. i was sooo happy to wake up.. cudn't sleep much the night before.. too excited to go back home.. back to Singapore.. mornin we went Safari Park.. quite boring.. after lunch we went to Big C for some last minute shoppin.. there were some cool stuffs like swords, double blades.. pallet guns.. penthouse mags.. but i cudn't buy any o those.. =( after that had dinner at Whale Hotel.. and staright off to the airport.. we had to transfit at Bangkok Airport for refilling first before headin back to Singapore..

  That was my "long and brief" description of ma trip to Thai.. a lot of minute funny details to add but nehh.. told ya i can take up a lotta pages.. this is considered very short.. ahakz.. ciaoz peepz..

P.S. - I miss Singapore.. Thank god i'm back..

  Hey hey... lookie here.. i just came back from Thailand.. well, actually a few days back ah.. but busy settlin down again.. gettin back to my normal life.. well, it maybe a bit weird.. but my normal life.. no matter how fucked up it may seem.. feels good.. for now i guess.. till all the normal fuck starts to haunt me again..
  well, since i'll be gettin off till the 14th of Feb.. i guess i have a lotta time to update and tell ya'll about my adventures in Thai.. Be back soon...

 Ya just don't know how much ya miss home till ya're away from it.. i was only gone for like 4 days.. went outfield.. as a recovery.. vehicles breakdown.. who do they call? me~! and me and ma sargent havta fix everything up.. even vehicles that are stuck in tha mud.. anywayz.. i got real dirty for tha past few days.. it rained a bit.. then got burnin hot a bit.. crazy weather dude.. but overall, the exercise Pegesus was fun.. well, for me ah..  let it be a trainin for me before i head to thailand.. anywayz.. i'm tired right now and i need ma beauty sleep... nyte nytes everyone..

   
   Ahakahahakhah~~!! i got ma PC up and running again... gonna run havoc all over the dumb ass net thingy.. if i gots tha time that is.. khehe.. like now.. i'ma bit tired.. soo i'll update later at night or sumthin aite.. i know ya guys miss me.. well, hold on for just a bit more aite?

My Deadly Sin Quiz..
   

You are Envy! Wow... what a dreamer. Always wanting what you can't have, and always dreaming of having more then you do. It's not the worst sin, and we're all guilty of it - but you take it to the extreme! You are prone to depression, often from things you can't obtain. Be a bit more positive, you have a lot that others want too - so don't sit there being all green! On the positive side, you tend to be a smart person - and can often achieve the goals you set yourself. Congratulations on being the overall harmless, and pretty normal one of the 7 deadly sins :) What Kinda Kiss Are Ya~? Romantic Kiss Lying in bed after making love and just doing whatever. How Long Will Your Relationship Last Quiz Wow! It was meant to be! Just hold on to it! Congratulations! You have true love! Just don't let any one or anything stand in the way of it! Mood Quiz    Heartbroken You've been hurt before, you have a reason to feel sad. But it's time to get over it. Try to open up to people and you'll feel a lot better.